Why Houses are Dumb: A Justification for Vehicle-Dwelling

The greatest disconnect in society is the fact that people live in permanent dwellings. Sometimes, they even enjoy it! Forget global warming, child poverty, or world hunger. Why someone wouldn’t want to live in a space smaller than a solitary confinement prison cell is beyond me.

I’ve made my best effort to fix the public opinion below. Consider it community service. Whether you take this as satire or reality is up to you. But, fact of the matter is, nothing written here is false.

Needing to Walk

If you need to eat, you need to walk to the kitchen. If you need to use the bathroom, you need to trudge all the way over there. If you need to charge your phone, you need to walk wherever your phone charger is. It goes on and on — a whole lot of walking for no reason.

In a vehicle or camper, everything is within arm’s reach! While sitting on my bed, I can bake a pizza, eat a pint of ice cream, change my outfit, take a nap, write a new post, or even use the bathroom. When everything is that close, you save a lot of energy. Needing to walk from place to place is inefficient. It puts unnecessary stress on your body. Living in a vehicle or camper removes that stress.


There’s nothing anybody hates more than having to clean their home. Suddenly, that 600-square-foot one-bedroom apartment isn’t so fun. The end result is a ruined Sunday. You’ll spend all day sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, organizing and scrubbing. Then, you’ll have to do it again the next weekend!

If you live in a camper; or even better, a tiny car; cleaning becomes a non-issue. That 600 square feet transforms to a dozen square feet. If you prefer luxury, it would be 100 square feet at most. Imagine a deep clean of your home taking no more than a half-hour. Needing to spend less time cleaning unlocks the real luxury: free time.

Annoying Neighbors

Is your hoarder, meth-head neighbor causing problems again? Are they screaming at their alternate personality in the night? Transacting drug deals with shady characters on your front lawn? What’s the solution?

You could confront them directly, but that would likely result in violence. You could call the police, but let’s face it, they have bigger problems to deal with. Your “so-far-harmless” neighbor will be put on the back-burner.

The last resort is to move, but that’s an involved process. You need to deal with your belongings, find a new mortgage or lease, and endure a large adjustment to your expenses.

What if moving took no longer than 5 minutes? That’s right. Just move a block or a street away. It’s less time than making a cup of coffee. Suddenly, annoying neighbors no longer become a problem. They become an excuse to treat yourself to a change of scenery.

Bad Weather

When you have a house, you’re stuck with the year-round weather that place provides. It could be earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, wildfires, rain, snowstorms or extreme heat. Living in a vehicle removes those problems altogether.

If you wanted to, you could spend all year with mild temperatures under blue, sunny skies. Or, if you’re one of those extreme weather filmmakers, you could spend all year under the most horrendous weather conditions possible. It’s up to you.

I once moved 1,000 miles because it was too rainy for my liking. That’s considered a reasonable action in this space. Whatever your preference is, bad weather becomes an opportunity — not a nuisance — in vehicle-dwelling.

Staying in One Place

There is nothing more dismal than being tied to one place. No matter how spectacular it may be, any location eventually gets boring. Or, you may find a reason to move on, but be unable to because of your house.

If you’re bored, sad, frustrated, unhappy, or angry — you can just go somewhere else! It’s the solution to all your problems. Did your favorite coffee shop mess up your order? Move to a new city. Are you tired of the city crowds? Move to the middle of the Black Rock desert. Significant other break up with you? Go across the country and get a fresh start. It solves everything.

Social Responsibility

If you have nothing tying you to a single place, there’s no reason to act like an upstanding citizen. You have the freedom to act however you want.

Were you kicked out of all the bars in Austin? No problem, move on to Dallas. Are you parking in a residential neighborhood and blasting music all night? By the time the residents get their guns out, you can move a neighborhood away. Do you like to leave a trail of litter and drug paraphernalia in your wake? If the police ever catch on, you’ll be a state away. It’s called freedom.


Plumbing, heat, air conditioning, hot water heaters, and toilets all require maintenance. If you have paint on your walls or wooden floors, those need work too. If you have electricity, you need to rely on the electrical provider to keep up with their maintenance. When something goes wrong, you need to call the specialized technician for each appliance. Then, you’re at the mercy of their availability — or your wallet.

Compared to that nonsense, vehicle maintenance is child’s play. All you need is a jack and a nearby Autozone to deal with any vehicle problem. If you limit your driving, you’ll have to do less maintenance and repairs too. It’s all under your control.

If you don’t know how to maintain your vehicle, that’s no problem. Just find the guy doing a transmission replacement in the back of the Autozone parking lot. Give him a $20 bill and a six-pack, and you’ll have whatever work you need completed in no time. Way easier than having to deal with home maintenance.

Being Away From Your Belongings

When everything you own is with you all the time, life becomes a lot more convenient.

Are your new shoes uncomfortable and giving you blisters? Just duck into your vehicle and change into your Crocs. Did the restaurant you’re eating in serve you bland food? No problem, grab your spice rack and season it up. In the mood for another caffeine fix? Go to your vehicle and brew up a cup of coffee. The possibilities are endless.

Final Thoughts

Is living in a vehicle the solution to all your problems and minor inconveniences? Yes, it is.

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